1.一个新任县令上任，乡下每个里长要收一百担大粪上交官府肥田。
1. A new magistrate took office, the countryside each steadily to one hundred bear pioneer turned over to the government fields.
有个里长收了九十九担，还少一担，怎么也收不齐了。急得无法，就拿苋菜煮水，凑成一担充数。
A long collected ninety-nine buckets, still less a bear, can't close together. Hurry too, take the amaranth boiled water, gather together into a bear instead.
县令问：“这担粪怎么这样红啊?”
Magistrate asked: "this bear shit how so red?"
里长答：“百姓肛门里的粪都掏光了，这都是硬挤出的血啊。”
The long answer: "the people of the light, even the dung of your anus to all, it is hard to squeeze the blood."
2.一个新任县令上任了，他问手下的公差：“县令应该怎么当呀?”
2. A new magistrate took office, he asked his tolerance, "the magistrate how should when?"
一个公差说：“第一年要清廉，第二年要半清廉，第三年便浑水摸鱼，捞一把。”
A tolerance, said: "to clean the first year and second year to clean, the third year and fish in troubled waters, waters."
县令长长地叹了一口气说：“我的天啊，啥时侯才能熬到第三年啊!”
Magistrate long said with a sigh: "my god, what mainly can stay up to the third year!"
