One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, we were
still only five months married so the passion soon starts to heat up!
Eventually, though, she says, "I don't feel like it. I just want you to
hold me." I said, "WHAT???" So she says the words that I and every husband
on the planet dread. She explains that I must not be in tune with her
emotional needs as a woman. I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I
finally realize that nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to
sleep.
The very next day, we went shopping at a big department store. I walked
around with her while she tried on three different, very expensive outfits.
She could not decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of
them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth ￡110.00 a pair
to which I say OK. And then we go to the jewellery department where she
gets a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you. She was so excited. She must have thought that I was one
wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was
testing me when she asked for a tennis racket because she does not even
play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK.
She was almost sexually excited from all of this, and you should have seen
her face when she said, "I'm ready to go to the cash register."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey, I don't feel
like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her face. It went
completely blank. I then said, "Really, honey, I just want you to HOLD this
stuff for a while." And just when she had this look like she was going to
kill me, I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a
man."
I figure that I won't be having sex again until some time after the spring
of 2013
上周一天晚上，我和妻子得到了床。好吧，我们
仍然只有5个月内结婚，这样的激情很快就开始升温！
最终，虽然，她说，“我不喜欢它，我只是想让你
抱着我。“我说：”是什么呢？“于是，她说的话，我和每一个丈夫
对星球恐惧。她解释说，我不能在她的调
作为一个女人的情感需求。我想，“她的第一条线索是什么？”我
终于明白，没有什么事情发生那天晚上，让我去
睡觉。
就在第二天，我们去购物，在一个大的百货公司。我走
与她，当她试图在三个不同的，非常昂贵的衣服。
她无法决定采取哪一个，所以我告诉她采取的所有三个
他们。然后，她告诉我，她想匹配110.00英镑一双的鞋
我说OK。然后我们去的地方，她的珠宝部门
得到一对钻石耳环。
让我告诉你。她是那么兴奋。她一定以为我是一个
波的海难，但我不认为她的照顾。我觉得她是
测试网球拍问我，当她的，因为她甚至不
打网球。我想，当我告诉她，这是确定的，我把她一个循环。
她几乎是性兴奋这一切，你应该看到
当她说她的脸，“我准备去收银。”
我几乎无法遏制自己当我脱口而出，“不，亲爱的，我不觉得
就像买现在这一切的东西。“你应该看到她的脸。去
完全空白。我接着说，“说真的，亲爱的，我只是想让你抱着
东西一段时间。“正当她这像她要去
杀了我，我说，“你必须不调我作为一个金融需求
人。“
我估计，我不会有性别直到一段时间后再次春天
2013年。
